Kidolences

About Our Boxes

 

Think about your first real loss.

Was it the death of a pet? A grandparent? Was it a move to a strange place away from all your friends? A divorce? 90% chance you were a kid. Now think back to how others reacted.

Adults typically respond two ways to a child's loss: either total silence because they are concerned they could upset the child further, or fawning sentimentality that may comfort the adult, but can confuse a kid who doesn't know how to express what they are feeling.

Adults experiencing loss are frequently comforted in many ways, if they are fortunate. Maybe loved ones send flowers, neighbors deliver food, family members call and text, friends send kind words online, and sympathy cards arrive in the mail. 

But what about the children affected by loss?

Children are often the marginalized, silent victims.

Experts used to believe that if we can shield children from grief, we will save them from pain. It was thought that they were too small to comprehend loss and that they would be damaged by the full knowledge of the event and its impact.

We have since learned that instead of feeling protected, this approach left children feeling isolated, minimized, confused and distrustful of adults. We now recognize that child loss is not simply a different version of adult loss, but rather is a unique type of mourning calling for a unique approach.

Kidolences answers the needs of children experiencing loss.

What if children could be the recipients of developmentally-appropriate expressions of sympathy and caring in their time of grief?

What if a child psychologist with expertise in trauma, resilience, and recovery curated special packages you could send to a child in the event of a loss?

Imagine the child’s feeling of being especially attended to, cared for, and comforted by your gesture of love and sympathy.

A gift created just for her that arrives in the mail, addressed to her.

A gift that speaks to her grief without weighing her down with adult-imposed sentimentality or well-meaning but misguided attempts to soothe her.

The Kidolences Care Box is the Gift that Keeps on Giving

Saying goodbye is a crucially important skill that every child must master. Effectively weathering storms builds emotional strength, activates resilience, and strengthens healthy coping and recovery strategies.

Acknowledging and legitimizing the loss affirms a child’s sense of himself as a valuable member of a larger society. Our care boxes are designed to reflect and model an attuned, appropriate way to respond to a child’s loss.

Children who experience loss often go through stages of what experts call “re-grief." Our care boxes become keepsake, sacred boxes that children can revisit again and again as they grow. As they progress through more advanced levels of development, children need to make sense of loss in light of their new cognitive skills. Our boxes provide a way to stay connected to that which has been lost, so that children can assimilate the loss into their evolving sense of selves. This leads to a greater understanding of themselves and the world around them.